Hoy fui a cenar luego de estar enferma en cama tres días. Estar enfermo es súper aburrido cuando vives una vida normal de 30-40 horas a la semana; en mi caso, una bendición. Te da tiempo de descanso, aunque sea forzado. Being a business owner is a blessing: I answer only to myself (and the clients, and the government, and the bank, and the suppliers) but the flip side to this is I work insane hours, all day, all night. I worry, coddle, obsess and ultimately eat, sleep and dream my shop.
I am constantly thinking of ways to improve, change, solve, innovate. I make time for friends, relationships and everything else, but most of my week is taken up by work. And for me, this is ok. It’s what I signed up for el 6 de diciembre de 2008, el dìa que me tirè con to’ y tenis y decidì sacar el préstamo para la tienda. Estaba increíblemente asustada, emocionada, y freakeada de que con mi crédito en pañales no me lo dieran. Creo que fue el último préstamo que el banco dio antes de que la cosa se fuera a pique en esta isla. Cuando me dijeron que si, no lo pude creer, empecé a temblar, no de nerviosismo, de pánico. Mi vida entera iba a cambiar, ya no había marcha atrás. Iba a pasar, ahora sí que tenía que hacerlo. Ya no había más días de estar en cama por horas, escribiendo y reescribiendo el plan de negocio para perfeccionarlo, entre turnos de parttime en tiendas, cuidos de niños, escuelas, carretas de mall. Ya me había graduado de mi bachillerato, asì que no tenía más excusas de “when I finish studying my life will start”. Me tomò 6 años desarrollar el concepto, cuando comencé no tenía ni la más mínima idea de que querìa excepto que quería que fuera mio, solamente mio, y que reflejara mi estilo funky, único, a veces difícil de entender. But I would make everyone understand and love it as well (<this is the most challenging, and yet, rewarding part of my business, what keeps me going).
In 2008 I had a name, a concept, a path, and gumption to set up shop. I also had a pretty good living of making jewelry at home from my own designs and selling it to boutiques and fairs, as well as a part time job that paid the rent and bills. It was a good life, a life that let me set my own hours (part time jobs loved me, I was a dedicated worker and they gave me leniency with the hours I wanted) and let me work with my hands, which I love, and sell, which I also love. It also gave me free time to go to the beach, my other love. All of this I gave up the day I got the money at the bank, and decided to set up shop. It’s not a bad thing; I gave up one life and set on course for another. And it’s been a real rollercoaster ride: ups, downs, hills, valleys, tears (tons of tears) and laughs (a lot of laughs). Fashion and vintage and models and trips. Photo shoots, stylists, clients, and people, so many wonderful characters I have met in three years. Opportunities, frustrations, learning to say NO emphatically. Taking charge. Having authority. Being the BOSS. Learning about websites, HTML, SEO, Google sense, Ads, online marketing, viral campaigns, followers, fans, friends, peeps. Learning that nothing is what it seems and everybody has an agenda. I love this life I have chosen.
Well, going back to my first sentence: Hoy fui a cenar luego de estar enferma en cama tres días. Me encontré con mi alma gemela, mi amor platónico y mi esposo. Y entre papas embadurnadas en grasa, batidas de sirop de fresa y hamburguesas de soya frìas les tiré esta pregunta al medio: “OKOKOK, ahora es que es! Resoluciones de año nuevo, GO”. Luego de mirarme con ojos de basset hound por cinco segundos, se pusieron a pensar. Yo ya tenia mis resoluciones hechas, always thinking ahead I had them ready since Monday (not really, just being idle for so many days gave me time to think on such things). It made me happy to see they all had resolutions of their own; after making the obligatory Miss Universe “world peace” wish they got down to themselves. Resolutions about weight, love, commitment, learning new languages, facing fears and conquering challenges. Which brings me to my own resolutions for this New Year: I want to lose 15 additional lbs; set up another shop after my first one gets well settled into its’ new home (which it’s doing nicely, I’m proud to say) and learn another language (a resolution shared by my friends as well). The funny thing is, we all got quiet after we all said our resolutions. Thoughtful. “Thinkative”, like another good friend of mine says. I wonder, is it because we know that resolutions are things we really won’t do completely, but seem nice to ponder and plan for? Or are resolutions for a New Year just reflections on what’s missing in our lives, things we wish made us complete but are always like perpetual bucket list items we keep leaving off year after year after year? I’d like to think that by the end of 2012, my three resolutions will be set, or pretty much on their way to happening. I guess that’s what everybody dreams of as well. Maybe this is one part of what being grown up is: having perpetual wants that pop up from time to time, like yellow post-its around the monitor of our life. Some get done, most get piled up on. My thinking is that they are necessary for us, if you run out of post-its for living, then you might as well just hang up your hat.